Willpower, Part 1

In the classic Frog and Toad story, Toad makes cookies for his friend, Frog. They eat and eat the delightful cookies, until they realize they have eaten enough, at which point they agree to eat one last cookie. After they eat one last cookie, they agree to eat one very last cookie. Taking one very last cookie, Toad cries, “We must stop eating.” Frog, reaching for another cookie, agrees and adds “We need will power.”

So in an attempt to stop his cookie-grabbing impulses, Frog puts the cookies into a box; but after Toad points out that they could open the box, Frog ties string around it. Toad immediately points out they could cut the string, so Frog takes out a ladder and places the box on a high shelf. After Toad again points out that they could take the box down, cut the string, open the box, and eat the cookies, Frog agrees and takes the box down, cuts the string, and opens the box. But this time he takes the box outside and feeds the cookies to the birds. “Now we have no more cookies to eat,” says Toad sadly. “But we have lots of willpower,” concludes Frog.

We laugh at the irony of that statement, knowing the very reason Frog had to give the cookies to the birds was because he had no willpower to restrain himself in the face of temptation.

Willpower is in limited supply, meaning change is limited if we only depend on willpower. Effective change takes more than willpower; instead, change is built upon a support structure that decreases the need for willpower.

Willpower comes in a limited supply.

In other words, if you know you have an urge to indulge in chocolate chip cookies, sticking with your no sugar commitment will probably require more than drumming up the ability to resist that urge every time you walk into the kitchen. Instead, you can change your environment by removing your cookie jar. That’s called creating a support structure that helps you reach your goal.

Most of us already do this with to-do lists. You’ve probably already figured out that trying harder to remember doesn’t work. That’s why you write it down. You create a structure that enables you to “remember.”

Many people continue relying on willpower to change. But depending on willpower for change is a misunderstanding of how change works. Energy spent drumming up willpower would be more effective spent creating a support structure for change.

What does a support structure for change include?

First, change is built on hope. Many times, another person’s encouragement or belief in us gives us the hope to change. Sometimes seeing a better alternative gives us hope. Hope is contagious, so if you want hope, don’t hang out with negative, pessimistic people; hang out with hopeful people. It will rub off on you, and it might be the first step toward a better life.

02.06.13Blog Why Is Accountability An Issue? - Fierce, Inc. - Fierce, Inc.
Accountability is a sign of strength.

Secondly, a support structure for change requires accountability. Let’s face it: we are social creatures, and we live best if we don’t deny our need for other people. You are not better or wiser because you can do more on your own; you become wiser as you draw from the resources and strengths of those around you. Allowing other people to make you better is not a sign of weakness; it is an acceptance of your needs and the way you are wired, and facing your own needs takes courage. That’s real strength. So be strong and be wise and increase your “willpower” by seeking out accountability.

What support structure are you creating that will help you reach your goals?

What do you need (that you currently don’t have) to be able to reach the goals you’ve set?